Having been a member of online dating communities over the last five years or so, I’ve come across so many aspects of online dating that I just can’t stand. I don’t know whether its a lack of intelligence on the part of the members of these sites or maybe they’re just not very serious about meeting someone for an actual relationship. Either way, the profiles, pictures, messages and overall actions of these people leave a lot to be desired. Obviously my only experiences with online dating involve interacting with guys, but from what they’ve told me, they run into a lot of the same issues when talking to women. So on with the rant! Here are my top ten online dating pet peeves:
10. Bad Openers: Any message I receive that starts off with “Hey Sexy”, “Hey Baby”, “You’re Hot”, or anything along these lines, I automatically hit delete. I’m a grown woman and I’m supposedly dealing with grown men on these sites so maybe its about time they acted like one and learned how to greet a woman.
9. Withholding Basic Information: When a guy fills in basic information on his profile such as occupation or education with “ask” or “tell you later” it leaves me wondering what exactly they’re hiding seeing as how these tidbits of information are pretty straight forward.
8. Posed Topless Pictures: Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate seeing a shirtless guy with a nice body as much as the next girl, but when a guy is posing in the mirror trying out his latest body builder pose, I’m not impressed. It comes off as being shallow and self-centered, characteristics I’m not looking for in a guy. Now if a guy happens to have a picture of himself and his friends hanging out on the beach and he’s in a bathing suit, that’s a different story.
7. Distorted Face Pictures: I’m not even sure if “distorted” is the right word here, but that’s all I’ve got. I can’t stand when guys take a bunch of pictures of themselves making angry faces, duck faces, have their chin pointed all the way up in the air, or worse yet wearing sunglasses or ski gear so that I can’t even see their face. I’m not interested in dating a mean/angry guy, a guy that looks like a duck or a guy that covers his face all the time with accessories. I find a guy who smiles much more attractive than any of the above. Side bar: What’s with guys making gang signs in all of their pictures? Especially because they’re most likely not even in a gang. And if they are in a gang, well then I’m not interested anyway.
6. Lies!: Seriously? Come on. If I’m looking at a picture on a guy’s profile and he’s African American, a little chunky and based on everyone he’s standing next to in his pictures, pretty short then why does his profile say he’s a six foot Caucasian with an athletic/muscular build? I mean, did he really think he was going to pull a fast one on some unassuming girl? Ridiculous. And guys who post pictures of themselves from 3 years ago thinking that girls won’t notice that they’ve changed a little when they meet is just flat out stupid. Even if I was still attracted to a guy after meeting him in person, I would be totally turned off by the fact that he felt he needed to lie about himself.
5. Odd Requests: Threesomes, web cam encounters, fetishes…. You name it and I’ve received messages about it. They’re called “dating sites” because people are supposed to meet and go on dates, not experiment with each others sick fantasies. If that’s what these guys are looking for, do all of us serious daters a favor and stop looking for it on sites meant for dating. I’m sure these guys can find what they’re looking for on a different website. Besides, where on my profile does it say I’m interested in any of these crazy things? They’re barking up the wrong tree!
4. “Meet Me At My Place”: Ok, so I’m a young woman meeting guys for dates after having chatted with them online or through text for a short time. Common sense suggests taking some precautions here. I never let guys pick me up for a date, I always meet them in a public place, and I always tell someone what my plans are in case, God forbid, something goes wrong. So I have to wonder where a guy’s head is at when he suggests I meet him for our first date at his place. I mean, that just sounds shady. The worst part is that when I explain to a guy why I won’t do that and I suggest something else, he thinks I’m the crazy one. Go figure! Here’s a good one for you: A guy invites me to his apartment for a first date. I decline, stating the reasons above. He then proceeds to tell me, “You don’t have anything to worry about. I’m a doctor living in a high rise building.” Oh! Ok! I feel so much more comfortable now! NOT! And fyi, he wasn’t even a doctor, he was a dental student. And apparently a moron.
3. Afraid To Send A Message: You gotta love these dating websites and the cute little ways they’ve created for their members to tell each other that their “interested”. You can “wink”, “favorite”, “like”, “show interest” and even say you want to meet the person. Super! So why is it that people are willing to hit all of these little buttons on the website, but they can’t write an actual message to someone consisting of a grammatically correct sentence of more than five words? Even worse is when I see that a guy has clicked one of these buttons for me and I take a leap of faith and send a message to him only to be ignored! What gives!?!?
2. ihjehbehjuhbiqjpqwjwe: What? You can’t read that? Me either! Imagine seeing someones profile filled out like that. That’s right, a bunch of crap just to fill up the space with the required number of characters to be able to have a profile. Now I have to say, this is something that has been limited to free dating websites. I’m pretty sure paid sites would not approve such a profile. Thank God! Not only is this annoying because it makes it impossible to find out about a person, but it shows a lack of seriousness in the entire online dating process. I avoid guys who have their profiles filled out like this because it shows me that they’re not serious about meeting someone like I am.
1. No Pic, No Point: Let’s face it (no pun intended), the first thing we all judge people on is their looks. The online dating world is no different. There has to be an initial attraction to the person which makes you interested in reading their profile and learning more about them. If I see a guy’s picture and I’m not attracted to him, I don’t bother reading his profile. It sounds a little shallow, but it would be no different if I saw someone in a bar. If I think a guy is cute, maybe I’ll make my way over and say hi. If I’m not attracted to him, I don’t give him a second glance. We all do it. Don’t deny it. So I ask you, what is the point of having a dating profile without a picture of yourself? What is it these guys are hiding? They get to see me, but I don’t get to see them? That hardly seems fair. If I start talking to a guy with no picture and I ask him to send me one, what happens when I don’t care for what I see? That certainly makes for an awkward moment, not to mention I’d be pissed off that I wasted my time talking to this guy who I’m not even attracted to. So to all of you guys who are afraid to post a picture of yourself, get off the dating sites!
Well there you have it. My top 10 online dating pet peeves. I hope you’ve enjoyed them and if you date online as well, I hope you’ve found comfort in knowing that you’re not alone in feeling frustrated by the above mentioned pet peeves.
On another note, those of you who have been following my blog series on online dating know that I had a second date with Stan yesterday. Or at least I was supposed to. We we’re going to meet at Dave and Buster’s for lunch and then hang out and play some games. I loved the idea and was really looking forward to it. Stan said he would text me the morning of the date and let me know what time we could meet. Turns out he slept a little late and was not going to have enough time to make our date and be back home in time for his night class. He was right about that, but I don’t understand why he didn’t set an alarm to get up earlier. Anyway, we re-scheduled for Wednesday. When I asked if we were keeping the same plans, he said we should just grab lunch somewhere and figure it out. I asked why he didn’t want to go to Dave and Buster’s anymore and he said that he still wants to go there, but would rather go on a weekend. Ooooook. So basically I don’t really get his reasoning there or why he didn’t get up earlier so we could go out, but I like the guy and its really not that big of a deal. I’ll be seeing him on Wednesday at a local chain restaurant and I’ll be sure to keep you all posted on how that goes.